Good day plebeians,
It is time to inform you of a lucid dream my brain pooped out just the other night.
it goes like this:
I FELL ASLEEP!
then, while sleepings i started to dream in images just like this...
YORKSHIRE PUPPY!
clown blood :(
FLYING LIKE SUPERMAN. HOORAY!
solar flare
thousands of dangling telephones
gas masks
then a flannel shirt
AND THEN
im in MA HOUSE
and i answer the door and its a 5-0. but more importantly its my good friends older brother (who happens to be a cop in reality).
anywhoot. he comes inside and we wind up in my bathroom. and magically my bathroom is now like a really long shooting range so i run down to the end with a paper target and hold it out and he starts shooting it.
then we get these like exacto knife katanas. and do BATTLE
he stabs me in the gut
and i actually like
slit his throat. and it was very Very vivid.
HOOLY HOOBASTANK
i woke up and i was all panicky until i realized i did not murder my friends brother.
HOORAY!
although this is disturbing to some of you there is one thing you should take away from this.
when the invasion happens i will not hesitate to do what needs to be done.
youre all a bunch of vaginas.
in unrelated news. i am on break.
in also unrelated news i am a parental figure to a broken bird i found. i keep him in a shoebox on the roof. his name is pedro.
When i nurse him back to health and he agrees to be adopted i will train him in the secret art of bird ninja. TWILL BE AWESEEM.
heres to you PEDRO and your eventual terrorization of new york and then the world!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
its time
Good MORNING.
To my loyal readers, I apologize for my absence of late.
As you all know (the millions that read my Abloga+*awesome blog-a+*. MWUAHAHA) I am awesome and I was busy doing awesome things like killing babies and unicorns.
anywhoot. ive decided its time for an update.
first on the list.
Guidos are evil. If you are a guido and if you happen to be reading this good. Embedded behind that very sentence was a guido self destruct code. in your tiny little brain a series of chemical reactions are taking place that will eventually turn your brain into more of a puddle than it already is. Soon you will be in baby diapers and drinking from a nippled bottle. VICTORY! however, the effects are not immediate. I programmed said code to give the fatal blow at the completion of reading my abloga+. Fortunate, eh?
Guidos are evil. They are evil. they smell, with their spikey hair and
DUCK LIPS?! what is that? seriiously, i really want to fucking know. Can ANYOEN please fucking tell me WHAT THE FUCK the duck lip thing is for?! I know its not for picking up bread crumbs from the pavement...
Spikey hair. I can only assume thats some kind of defense mechanism, much like that of a porcupine., you know for people trying to pick you up and get at your nice soft belly meat...
fucking tools.
all of you should move to miami. Seriously, its like Guido heaven. i read it on a website. Go be happy in miami where people can actually tolerate your spikey haired duck face bullshit.
second on my list.
FUck ALL OF YOU.
seriously.
people are tarnishing the awesome name of ZOMBIE.
you already have pirate. leave zombie alone. for the love of god.
Respect the beast or the beast will turn into a massive horde of flesh eating undead and eat your ass.
bitched.
third on my list.
you know how every generation has that horrible blemish? like my parents had disco anddd pet rocks i guess. You know what my generation has? I think i got it. Every R&B/Rap song today that has that weird robot auto pitch correction effect?(i think just our generations inability to produce anything of any significant substance is blemish enough) which i think is most every R&B/Rap song.
I really dont know how that industry is still alive. Rap is dead. Rock died a long time ago probably at the latest mid 90's. probably a lot earlier. Everyone past that point is just paying hommage to the greatness of rock.
Rap has already passed that point.
i feel like rap died, people payed their respects with some great stuff, and then all those fuckers died, and then their respectors died and then the global warming erased any memory of what rap was and people just came up with what we have today.
There is a very small cult of good rappers out there and to you, i raise my glass. to everyone else.
fuck you. youre as bad as the guidos.
fourth.
ASLDKJASDLKJASLKN ALS KDAGH ASLKDJ ASLKJ S alskjd ALSKjd aSFHOAIN
BOOBIES
ASLKDJ goiASOIjd ipow OflkjfpoJ OKj alskdj poiw okj asd poqkwlkj asoig oehto KOAJSdlkj doiwj oiaoith lkjsd oijwq oin alks joijhw tioahj flkjsaf iow thoAKd ASLKDJ eoihy dafoiwuaoqlkj ascoij oeiput hipouh pojkawe ojh eaoghogkj eoij oigtjhglhkaiofehwoaih eoia aowite oie jdf lkdjf
ALjd eio oigh{aslkdj asok oboobies ad kljsiu egij alskdj oijf eijkgjlh oiew kjslkdjgasklj gioer j
lkjsdfioj wboobies asokjf oeijt lkjad ipo wjdwoij dadasd awoifj a
wdadlkjdao iwoijgoignaklhdofh oijskljfa
aslfjkg
...
.
..
...
....
.
for good measure..
and to those soon brain dead guidos
HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you can solve this problem.
REPENT REPENT! if you do. and swear off your life of duck face, spikey haired, steroid using, fake tan going ways, you will survive and most likely become a valued member of society.
however, if youre guido 4 life,
enjoy pooping in diapers loser.
BWAHAHA
To my loyal readers, I apologize for my absence of late.
As you all know (the millions that read my Abloga+*awesome blog-a+*. MWUAHAHA) I am awesome and I was busy doing awesome things like killing babies and unicorns.
anywhoot. ive decided its time for an update.
first on the list.
Guidos are evil. If you are a guido and if you happen to be reading this good. Embedded behind that very sentence was a guido self destruct code. in your tiny little brain a series of chemical reactions are taking place that will eventually turn your brain into more of a puddle than it already is. Soon you will be in baby diapers and drinking from a nippled bottle. VICTORY! however, the effects are not immediate. I programmed said code to give the fatal blow at the completion of reading my abloga+. Fortunate, eh?
Guidos are evil. They are evil. they smell, with their spikey hair and
DUCK LIPS?! what is that? seriiously, i really want to fucking know. Can ANYOEN please fucking tell me WHAT THE FUCK the duck lip thing is for?! I know its not for picking up bread crumbs from the pavement...
Spikey hair. I can only assume thats some kind of defense mechanism, much like that of a porcupine., you know for people trying to pick you up and get at your nice soft belly meat...
fucking tools.
all of you should move to miami. Seriously, its like Guido heaven. i read it on a website. Go be happy in miami where people can actually tolerate your spikey haired duck face bullshit.
second on my list.
FUck ALL OF YOU.
seriously.
people are tarnishing the awesome name of ZOMBIE.
you already have pirate. leave zombie alone. for the love of god.
Respect the beast or the beast will turn into a massive horde of flesh eating undead and eat your ass.
bitched.
third on my list.
you know how every generation has that horrible blemish? like my parents had disco anddd pet rocks i guess. You know what my generation has? I think i got it. Every R&B/Rap song today that has that weird robot auto pitch correction effect?(i think just our generations inability to produce anything of any significant substance is blemish enough) which i think is most every R&B/Rap song.
I really dont know how that industry is still alive. Rap is dead. Rock died a long time ago probably at the latest mid 90's. probably a lot earlier. Everyone past that point is just paying hommage to the greatness of rock.
Rap has already passed that point.
i feel like rap died, people payed their respects with some great stuff, and then all those fuckers died, and then their respectors died and then the global warming erased any memory of what rap was and people just came up with what we have today.
There is a very small cult of good rappers out there and to you, i raise my glass. to everyone else.
fuck you. youre as bad as the guidos.
fourth.
ASLDKJASDLKJASLKN ALS KDAGH ASLKDJ ASLKJ S alskjd ALSKjd aSFHOAIN
BOOBIES
ASLKDJ goiASOIjd ipow OflkjfpoJ OKj alskdj poiw okj asd poqkwlkj asoig oehto KOAJSdlkj doiwj oiaoith lkjsd oijwq oin alks joijhw tioahj flkjsaf iow thoAKd ASLKDJ eoihy dafoiwuaoqlkj ascoij oeiput hipouh pojkawe ojh eaoghogkj eoij oigtjhglhkaiofehwoaih eoia aowite oie jdf lkdjf
ALjd eio oigh{aslkdj asok oboobies ad kljsiu egij alskdj oijf eijkgjlh oiew kjslkdjgasklj gioer j
lkjsdfioj wboobies asokjf oeijt lkjad ipo wjdwoij dadasd awoifj a
wdadlkjdao iwoijgoignaklhdofh oijskljfa
aslfjkg
...
.
..
...
....
.
for good measure..
and to those soon brain dead guidos
HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you can solve this problem.
REPENT REPENT! if you do. and swear off your life of duck face, spikey haired, steroid using, fake tan going ways, you will survive and most likely become a valued member of society.
however, if youre guido 4 life,
enjoy pooping in diapers loser.
BWAHAHA
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